I know, I know, we all do it. I’m the worst for it.
We meet a someone, go on a couple of dates and then the picking starts.
Pick, pick picking until we entirely convince ourselves that actually that person isn’t right so you end it.
I am entirely undecided about if this is a bad thing or not.
On the one hand, look at Belle and the Beast. If she had got rid of him just because he was a different species entirely (and lets face it, a bit of a dick) then she would have totally missed out on locking lips with a super hot prince.
But, Chandler used to break up with girls for silly petty reasons. I mean… he broke up with a girl because he thought her nostrils were too big! If he had decided to look past the two blackholes in her face he wouldn’t have ended up with his soulmate Monica.
So, here is my list of things that really shouldn’t matter when you date someone, but it doesn’t matter if it does:
It would be wrong to cross someone off your list of potential future mates just because he’s too tall (is that even a thing?) or not tall enough.
It annoys me when girls ask guys how tall they are on dating apps because I’d be absolutely livid if a bloke asked me my weight before agreeing to a date. Weight and height are can be equally sore subjects for guys and girls, so judge not lest ye be judged. Go on the date, see how it goes, and if you choose to ignore an obvious connection just because he’s vertically challenged you are silly.
But remember, roller coasters have height restrictions for a reason. You’ve got to be a certain height to get on some rides…y’know, for safety.
If he still lives at home
Tons of millennials are still living at home with mum and dad. In fact, if he owns his own house already you should probably double check he isn’t getting his money through some dodgy dealings and make sure there isn’t a girlfriend lurking in the background who owns half… If he is living at home to save money, then is probably a good sign – if he is fiscally responsible it bodes well for his (and potentially your) future.
But be warned, if you BOTH live at home it might make for a very early “meet the parents” situation, and it also might make it difficult to get some alone time…if you know what I mean.
If you like the person you are with it shouldn’t matter if he is too young to know all the words to “All Rise” by Blue, same for if he is too old to remember for that matter.
What’s important is that you share the same values and are obsessed with each other now. You can always print out the lyrics and educate him…or maybe just save that mixtape for when you go on a road trip with the girls.
Obviously there are some legal implications when it comes to the age, and if you find yourself wondering if you could end up in jail then you should probably stop and maybe look at getting some therapy.
And “gold digger” is one colour that doesn’t look good on anyone.
“One love” and all that.
What he does for a living
Unless his job is something actively horrible, like a kitten kicker, don’t let it frighten you off. There is a chance he might not fit the stereotype of others in his profession. Repeat – not all bankers are w*nkers.
Equally, don’t ever think he isn’t worth dating because he has a job that you consider to be “beneath you”. Roz Doyle was a dick to her nice bin-man boyfriend, and frankly she deserved to be dumped like last weeks trash. It takes all sorts to make the world go round you know.
All this aside, it might be a good time to point out that mixing business with pleasure rarely ends well. No matter how tempting that stationary cupboard looks, always approach office romances with caution. CAUTION.
How much his interests align with yours
First of all, hasn’t the whole opposites attract myth debunked by now? We are not magnets. Sure, it’d be great if you’re both cross fit obsessed and love to bike 18 mile trails on a Sunday before 9am, or are both cinephiles who love each other as much as they love their Cineworld Unlimited card, but someone with different interested can open you up to new experiences. And that can be good.
After all, who wants to be one of those sickeningly compatible couples that does everything together all the time.
However, the issues lie in how open minded they are. If they poo poo your idea of fun and insist you only do what they want to do the chances are you are going to get bored and frustrated really, really fast. It’s all about give and take, and you’ve got to be willing to try football golf at least once before you call it stupid.
So I have successfully talked myself round in a circle, but I figure if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. And if you can’t learn to love his flaws, bail. Being single is awesome, hashtagallmybitches